|All The Way Boys
|Rating: Liked it
Director: Giuseppe Colizzi
Release Year: 1972
Starring: Terence Hill, Bud Spencer, Reinhard Kolldehoff
Plata [to an angry thug in a bar]: Hey, wanna see a trick? You lunge at me with that knife and I'll kick you in the stomach, then kick you in the mouth, and loosen a tooth. Come on... lunge at me. [Dodges the knife, kicks the guy in the stomach & mouth] Go ahead... check that tooth... give it a tug. [Guy pulls tooth out] See... neat trick, huh?
When this movie was made Terence Hill & Bud Spencer were riding high. They had just come off the mega-hits They Call Me Trinity & Trinity is Still My Name. Somebody decided to cash in on this popularity and put the duo in their first 'modern day' movie. Of course, they did exactly what dozens of future movie-makers would go on to do... cash in on the Trinity name. The posters promised "Those TRINITY BOYS take to the air and still fly off the handle!"
I did a Google search to see if anyone had come up with a handy term to describe this phenomenon. You know what I found out? There apparently isn't a single instance of anyone on the Internet using the word Trinitysploitation. Can you believe it? So let it be known, for here and for all time, that on July 29, 2005, Micah P at Reel Distraction coined and created the term Trinitysploitation. That's it folks, you just witnessed history.
So, the question is, does All The Way Boys live up to the legacy of the Trinity movies? Well, I want to say no, but I'm not sure that would be completely fair. The thing is, this movie was almost two hours when it was originally released. Unfortunately, almost all video releases (including the one I got) have a runtime just under 90 minutes. And sadly, it seems the 30 minutes picked to be cut were chosen completely randomly, with the end result being that the movie is almost totally incomprehensible. Don't believe me? Check this out.
Plata (Hill) & Salud (Spencer) are buddies (of course) who make a living scamming insurance companies by crashing airplanes and taking a cut of the insurance payments. On one of their runs, however, the end up crashing for real, and getting stuck in the middle of a jungle. Suddenly, the boys (sporting long beards) come across a miner in the forest who asks them whether they're the pilots who crashed two months ago. Then they're sitting in a cafe in a jungle village where they befriend a crazy old man (who strangely develops an Irish accent in the movie's second half) and piss off a village tough (who later turns out to be the area's only pilot).
He warns the boys are warned the jungle is only big enough for one pilot. So of course Plata & Salud piece together their own plane (from spare parts lying around the village) and begin to operate a plane for hire. Then while Salud is flying a sick boy to a nearby town, the village tough blows up their plane (even though we just saw Salud flying away in it). Salud & Plata go beat up the guy, then pretend to fly the crazy Irish man to Salvador. Unfortunately, the old guy dies on the way. Luckily, he tells them of a large stash of emeralds he knows about. Now hold on, because this is where things get really choppy.
The next scene has the boys dressed fancily in front of a mansion (that they apparently own). They're staring at an alabaster statute of the old man, and a fragment of emerald can be seen though a crack in the statute. The movie immediately cuts to Plata & Salud in jail, where they are debating whether to 'pay 50% of the concession' to the President. Plata wants to break out of jail, Salud says no, and suddenly Plata has broken out and is in the President's office. He steals a piece of paper that 'will solve all our problems' from the President's desk.
We cut to a field where Salud is standing with a shotgun. When Plata flies overhead, Salud shoots at the plane & Plata fakes a crash landing. Salud runs to see if Plata is hurt, and the two get into a fist fight. Suddently they're back in the plane and as they're flying off, they exchange this puzzler:
Plata: Anyhow, nobody's going to take that concession away from us.
Salud: Huh, that's for sure.
Salud: In other words, we're rich but we haven't got a cent.
Plata: Huh, like the old guy!
And cue the credits. Well, I don't really know what to make of that. I'm guessing the non-hacked-to-death version made more sense, but I really am having a hard time coming up with 30 minutes of movie that would adequately fill in the gaps. Who was that old guy, and why did he start sounding Irish all the sudden? Did Plata & Salud own that mansion, or was that the old guy's? Did the village pilot work for the President, or were they totally unrelated? If any of you have a copy of the 2 hour version of All the Way Boys, please shoot me an email. As of now, this movie is an unsolved mystery for me, and I unfortunately can't give it higher than a FF. But, at least I got to create the phrase Trinitysploitation. Tell your friends!
Review Date: 08.23.06